Hypothetically speaking, there are certain things you may not want to do when you get invited into that first Raid.
I say, “Hypothetically,” because you know that no one would actually let this happen. Right?!
Ok, so you’re grinding leather and Mammoth meat in Storm Peaks. You’re a leather worker, and you’re trying to make that really nice set of Hunter armor for your buddy in the guild. You also learned a new recipe, that gives you a yummy RAP boost. You think to yourself, “If I ever get into a Raid, that would come in very handy!” So, there you are, grinding away at packs of Stoic Mammoths and Ravenous Jormungar Worms, loving every Thunderstomp that your Gorilladin lays down as you AoE down the mobs.
“WEEEEEEEE!” you say, as you lay down Volley, after Volley, after Volley of AoE goodness. The mobs drop heavily to the ground, and you are in skinner’s heaven.
That is when you get the pst(!), the /w, the all important private message from that guy…you remember that guy right(?)…that guy from the Heroic Nexus you ran about two weeks earlier!
“Hey Zwing, *cough* ‘nameless hunter,’ we have a dps slot open in our Naxx Raid. You want in?”
OMG, OMG, OMG! A Naxx run! What do I say? Who was this? OMG, a Naxx run! I’m actually getting invited to a 10 man Raid! *takes a breath*
Ok, you don’t want to look like a complete idiot, so you become very deliberate in what you pst back to him.
“Hey man! Its good to hear from you. I would love to help out…but, give me a minute. I need to switch to my ferocity pet…” *you think for a second* I do have a lvl 80 ferocity pet…yes? Yes, I happen to have a lvl 80 cat.
“…and, I also need to pick up some of my hit gear. If thats ok, I’ll brt.” Yah, quick save on the hit gear. You think you have that one ring and one trinket that gets you to the hit cap…right?
Riiiggghhhttt?!?!?!
So, you immediately hearth to Dalaran, and make a beeline to the stables. You pick up the only lvl 80 ferocity pet, and then make a run to the special ammo vendor. You fill up your ammo pouch, and then head to the Bank to look for those “hit pieces” you were talking about. *cough*
Thats when you realize that all of your “hit gear” only gets you up to 250 +hit. You pray that they don’t look at your stats, or else that is another reason to /kick you. You are 46 points UNDER the hit cap for a Raid.
Did I forget anything…ANYTHING?
No?
Good. /srsnod
/w coolraidleaderthatinvitedyou “I’m ready.”
So, you get a quick summons, and you are at the Naxx summoning stone. You are introduced to the group, and you get some hearty “Welcome! Thanks for coming! Glad you’re hear!”(s) from the raid members.
Someone lays out a feast, for which you are extremely grateful. You realized that you forgot to get any +attack power food. You’ve still got that lame rhino dogs, because you think those extra few points of mana regen actually mean something as you grind leather.
Did you forget anything else? Nah… Of course not!
So, you start what you think is the Plague Quarter, though you’re really not sure. Maybe someone mentioned it in the scrolling /raid text. This isn’t their first time here, but there are a few new members (you are told), so they won’t be explaining everything just for you.
You get to the first boss, you’re assigned to adds. You do halfway decently, or so you think. At least no one is complaining. You even feel good enough to Volley down some of the adds, because the Tank is freakin’ awesome!
“WEEEEEEE!” It almost feels like you’re grinding Stoic Mammoths again.
The group wipes, but that was expected. No fault is assigned, its a learning experience.
We *cough* The group figures out the fight, and downs the boss on the second or third time. After all, it’s hypothetical, so we’ll say the second time.
The Raid smashes through the trash in the next room. “WEEEEEEEEE,” more AoE. You’re Volleying down slug after slug after slug….and you’re wondering why the other hunter isn’t doing it? She’s one of their regulars, she’s the one with more experience. “Huh,” you think to yourself. And you file it back in your mind to think about later.
So, you finally get to Heigan. Oh, he’s nasty. There is this poison that comes from the floor, and you’ve got to do a dance, and he diseases you, and you die… You die often. The raid wipes multiple times, I mean M.U.L.T.I.P.L.E. times… *cough* …hypothetically. And then the Raid Leader lets the group know that there is a cheat, a special spot to stand…but they will only do it this time. With future raids, the group will learn the dance; and not get used to using glitches in the game to get through something easily.
So, we get back to Heigan and he shows what to do, and where to stand at the appropriate times.
We wipe again. Not everyone had the spot figured out. That is a small FREAKIN’ spot! *cough* Hypothetically.
But, everyone is up for one more go…and you do it again.
People are in the spot (actually going in between the dias and the spot) at the right time. Everything is going grand…until you realize that you’re not firing a weapon…
Wha?! Holy Craptastic Batman! What happened to my freakin’ Gun! I spent 1200gp on the mats, its the only purple I have… WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?!
Then it hits you… Practically all of your armor is at zero durability, and your gun is broken.
What did you forget? You forgot two things. You forgot to REPAIR(!) you friggin’ idiot, and you forgot your spare gun in the bank. That spare gun that you were keeping because you knew that excessive Volleying would break your freakin’ gun!
You let the Raid know what happened…and the Raid leader tells you to go down and melee with what you’ve got. You get to stand by the Tank… That really good tank, that has the weapons, armor, and stats to melee all sorts of crap. And you just became the Melee Huntard. It seems you did get those swords for more than just the stats.
/shame
Miracles of miracles, Heigan goes down. The Raid wins!
You apologize profusely to the Raid Leader. You thank Elune that its getting late, and that the Raid was wrapping up. They call it a night, and you get a “Thank you for coming” from the guy you just embarrassed because he invited a Craptastic Huntard to the Raid.
You hearth to Dalaran, and immediately Repair your items, feeling that every bit of the 15 gold it cost you was justly deserved. Actually, you should have had to pay more. Next, you hit the Bank and you get that “extra” gun, that has its own permenant place in your backpack now. Then, you take the portal to Iron Forge, and search the Auction House for every gem and “scroll of enchant” that has a +hit to it, along with the Eternal Belt Buckle. You pay whatever it costs. You make sure you don’t have a piece of equipment that isn’t gemmed or enchanted. Then, you cook up a batch of those yummy mamoth meals, so that you really are prepared for another Raid…if you are lucky enough to ever get a raid invite again.
Oh, and you seriously consider rerolling as a Bunneh!
Here is a picture of a Hypothetical Situation might look like… >.>
Broken Gear
