Nelfling

I’ve been inspired by Fannon, and his Dear Dwarfling.

Nelflings are so cute, especially for the first 18 months or so.

Sure, they eat, sleep, and poop the same as any other mortal baby. But, we all know that Nelfling pooh doesn’t stink. Unlike the Orclings! Oh my, by Elune’s Tears those babies can stink. Seriously, is there genetic problem or something?

I digress. Oh yes, Nelflings. They truly are angelic.

Did you know that they glow when they wake up in the morning? It’s true, they do. And they awaken smelling like spiced mulberry wine.

They are truly intoxicating.

But…

/cough

At 18 months something happens. I call it the spark of Illidian.

To be honest, that may not be fair to Illidian.

They are beginning to walk. They are beginning to talk. They are beginning to experience this great big ole’ world we call, Teldrassil.

And then, it’s like they gain a sense of will, specifically as it comes into conflict with your’s as a parent.

I HAVE AT LEAST A FEW THOUSAND YEARS ON THIS ANKLE BITER!!!!

/cough

You would think they would be more appreciative of our vast adult experience.

/sigh

Alas, they do not.

It is as if they are already robed and ordained as a Priest of Elune. They can’t be wrong, they are oh-so-righteous, and I swear that their pooh begins to stink.

/grumblemumblegrumble

Oh, and there is no genie in the diaper-genie. Stinks to high heaven. I’m gonna skin that goblin the next time I see him.

/winces as he takes the trash out, holding it at arms length.

Zwingli