/ToggleRealLife
Some people know this, and some don’t. I’m the father of two beautiful little boys, and the husband to one patient wife!
We lived our first year in relative isolation (other than work, of course). We never wanted to be “those people” with the little kid(s) causing all that trouble in a restaurant.
That stopped in year two. We became the couple that doesn’t give a rip anymore.
Instead, we find ourselves surrounded by teachable moments.
We also find out we have kids that want to imitate us!
What we found is that we come away from these little outings with wonderful stories!
We also learned how much of our life can be Poop Dependent.
Oh, and those “Baby Bags,” should just be called the “Oh $%@#!” bags. /srsnod
So, we are out at a local eatery when my 4 year old son informs me that he “has to go.”
Of course, that could mean he “already went,” has “sharted,” needs to be in the bathroom “righ now,” or is feeling some gas coming on.
You never know with a 4 yr old.
Anywhooo, we get in there and he needs to take a poop.
Public restroom. You bet I’m cleaning that puppy off!
Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
Has anyone else noticed how inconvenient it is to have that little section out of the front of the seat that is missing?
OHMYGOSH!
Yeah, guys bathrooms tend to not be kid friendly.
Here are some things I heard (and possibly even said) while at the restaurant.
Quotables, mabye?
Dad, instructing child on Urinal Usage: “Stand as close as you can, but don’t touch the porcelain.”
On Urinal Etiquette: Kid says, “Hey, HEY!” Dad says, “No son, don’t talk to him. He’s peeing, and peeing is a guys private time.” Kid says, “But he’s SO TALL!”
Positive Potty Reinforcement: “Son, we don’t have to celebrate every plop.”
In the Dining Area: “Put your shirt down! No one wants to see your belly right now.”




BUT HE IS SO TALL DAD
keep your voice down
BUT WHY
because urinals are quiet time
BUT WHY
because you gotta make sure it all goes in the bowl
BUT WHY
we just do
CAN I DRAW WITH MY PEE DAD?
….
Yeah, sure, go ahead. Don’t tell mom.
LOLOLOL!!!!
Pee Pad!!! I Love It!!!!!
Z
Sent from my iPhone
LMAO! Classic parenting there Zwingli
Unfortunately mummy potty talk is boooooring…
MAMA CAN I NEED TO POOPOO.
Ok, you can wee wee and poopoo.
MAMA I CAN HEAR PEOPLE NEXT TO ME.
Other people need to use the toilet too, my dear.
MAMA… I CAN HEAR THEM WEE WEE.
That’s what happens when people go to the toilet.
MAMA… CAN YOU CUDDLE ME WHILE I POOPOO? CAN I MAKE IT SPLASH?
I’ll just hold you, darling. Don’t fall inside the toilet.
MAMA… CAN I WATCH YOU POOPOO NOW TOO?
…*crickets*…
——————–
I think it’s more fun being a boy and a dad. Can I draw with my pee. That’s too funny.
I can’t imagine what it is like to have a little girl; as I’ve two little boys. I know that early on my eldest was afraid of bathrooms in businesses due to the loudness of the toilets. You know, those with the super-duper-sonic flushing mechanism.
Ah, fun times!
My son’s a few months past two and many things bathroom are an adventure. Explaining that “go” means you have to go to the potty, not that you just went and simply want to sit naked on the toilet…
That is to funny.