While having a DQ Dude and fries for lunch, my ketchup was pilfered by my 4 yr old! That is when I started thinking: exactly how much has my life changed…what things have I lost in becoming a father.
I know, that sounds horrible.
The Cost
1. Well, obviously I’ve lost my ketchup rights.
Actually, I’ve lost all aspects of ownership concerning dipping sauces of all types. Did I mention that my 2 yr also old stole my other ketchup today?! It turns out the 4 yr old is teaching my 2 yr old.
Actually, I’ve lost my basic rights to sustenance, period. Anything in my hands, or on my plate belongs in their mouths. They are like little birds, mouth all a-gape.
Little beggars!
2. I’ve lost the ability to sleep in.
Seriously, what’s up with this? My eldest gets up on a regular basis around 5:30-6:00am. Instead of having the decency of taking the opportunity to watch some TV, turning his brain to mush, the kid has to come into our room, crawl into bed, and eventually wind up sprawled all akimbo…at times, even laying on top of me! /RunOnSentence
3. Oh, and I lost all quiet time in my own house.
No matter how early I get up, being all silent and covert…attempting to read…one of my kids always wakes up. It’s like they smell that I’m awake. They have this desperate need to invade my quiet time.
I’m an INTROVERT! I Need My Cave!
4. Oh, and S.E.X.
Let’s not forget about sex. We have to lock our room on the off chance that the little snots will decide that they need some snuggle time.
Have you ever tried the Boinga-Boinga with a kid knocking on your door saying, “Mommy…Daddy, wake up!”
OMGOSH! /KillsTheMood
The sheer paranoia of one of our little princelings walking in on us is enough to scare a guy into celibacy. /srsnod
Look, my kids are going to be emotionally scarred because of me. I know this. However, they don’t need THAT mental image in their head.
But…What about the Benefits?
The Benefits
The tl;dr is that they’ve given me a deeper capacity to love in all areas of my life. The first time I held my firstborn in my arms, I knew that everything had changed.
But wait, I’ve got more to write. I can’t have a tl;dr yet!
1. I get to see them try it.
I get to watch their face light up as they try new things. No only do they try new things, but they intrinsically want to try whatever it is that Daddy has.
They want what I want, do what I do; aka: They want to be like me! /ProudPapaMoment
Oh, and the first time they had a pickle…and scrunched up their noses when that sour taste hit their taste-buds? Yeah baby!
Heck, we gave them a second piece of pickle so we could get a picture of the face! /FaceBook
When they had their first brain-freeze because they were scarfing Dad’s ice cream to fast? Priceless! /Justice!
2. I get to see them first thing.
I get to be awakened by a precious soul who’s first thought in the morning is, “I want to be with dad.”
Think of that for a moment. That is the first thought, that is the inclination, that is his greatest desire. I am blessed of God with these early morning moments.
3. Quiet time, shmy-it time
While I may loose my early morning quiet times, I gain children that naturally bring me out of my shell. No matter what I may want to do, there is nothing better than my child snuggling up next to me on the couch. /SeePreviousBlessing
4. God, I love my wife!
Lastly, I have a deeper and more meaningful love for my wife. We truly are partners in this grand journey. We have a common bond that goes beyond physical attraction. We have unified hopes and dreams, and a struggle that we are whole heartedly fighting for together.
We will scrape, claw, and fight to make sure our children have the best chance possible at a great life. Period.
Final Words
Back when we were pregnant with our eldest, an elderly gentleman took me aside. He was well into his 90s, having been married for well over 60 of those years. He and his wife had raised three beautiful daughters.
He took me aside and said, “Do you want to know what your boy is going to need the most?”
Of course I said, “Yes, Sir!”
He said, “Give him a Daddy that loves his Mommy.”
I don’t have the time to go into it here; but I think that is the best advice I’ve ever been given.
Having children has changed my life in dramatic ways. It has completely changed, been utter turned over and inside out.
However scary that may sound to non-dads out there, I can honestly say that it is worth it.
As said before, they’ve given me a deeper capacity to love.
Z
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