Life intrudes, its what it does.
The world lost someone this past week, though you’ve probably not heard of him.
I hesitate to call him a friend. You see, he was enlisted while I’m an officer. We aren’t allowed to get to close, lest favoritism cloud our judgment. That is a serious thing, and people could lose stripes and bars over those sort of things. Still, if things had been different, I know that we would have been friends…even close friends.
http://www.dyess.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123467937
Though information is scarce on my end, it looks like a suicide.
You see, the Jeremy that I knew was a joy to be around. More than not, he always had a positive – “can do” attitude. He was always willing to help. Something that I benefited from on numerous occasions.
You see, as a Chaplain I was an “insta-Captain.” I joined the USAF with that rank, which others tend to need 4-5 years to earn. One of the things they told us was to find a SNCO, and let them mentor us. I was blessed to be assigned to a Group, and a have my office in a Flight that was filled with good mentors. Jeremy was one of those.
While he helped me, mentored me on more than one occasion; one thing in particular sticks out. You see, I was having problems with my PT test. That is one thing you don’t want in any military branch. Jeremy took me under his wing, and worked out with me for 2 months – 5 days a week, every afternoon so that I would pass that accursed test.
He didn’t just tell me what to do, he did it with me. He walked through it with me, every bitter-painful-step. And, because of him I got one of the best scores on my PT test that I had ever had.
We talked a lot. I got to know him really well, and was aware of some of the struggles he was dealing with. I know that I have a responsibility to not share what people tell me. It is one of the core responsibilities of Chaplains. We guard the private information of those counselled behind an iron curtain of confidentiality. But, even knowing that I wonder. Could there have been something, over 4 months ago that I could have done to mitigate against this day.
Four months ago…the last time we spoke. He was moving to Dyess AFB, and I was getting ready to deploy. My heart now breaks for his son. He won’t be able to spend time with his loving father any more. I can only hope that one day someone will tell him how much his dad cared for him. I also pray that his means of death won’t diminish the memory of his love for his son.
Folks, our time together is short, make the most you can of it.
We lost a Good Man, a Good father, a Good Airmen this past week. We are lesser because of that loss.
Live with Hope. It is our weapon against the darkness.
Chap…
Just heard from the friend going through something similar with their child. I am blessed with a good life and wonderful family, so this is very hard for me to understand. But you can’t judge when you’re not walking in someone else’s shoes, and I know there are many people out there fighting every day to get through anguish and hopelessness. I’m sure your work as a chaplain helped strengthen many people around you, made them feel a little less alone with their struggles, and gave them hope to persevere. Thank you for sharing, and our prayers go out for Jeremy and his family.
Chap, I was one of Jeremy’s supervisors here at McConnell. That’s where I first met him. Jeremy’s personality actually lit up a room even though a few didn’t see it. I and another NCO helped guide Jeremy through the growing yrs from Airman to NCO. He was gifted…..Once he got the hang of something, he didn’t stop he kept learning and teaching. He taught me a few things about Excel I didn’t know. He loved his wife, deeply, and that I believe was the driving factor here. You hit the nail on the head about who he is/was… I am saddened that I lost a friend and that his son will grow up without him…. so I lift him up to know that he was loved by his Daddy. Thank you for your kind words…
Julie, thank you for your comments. I’m thinking of Jeremy and his son daily. I can only imagine that those who knew him better, that loved him more, are still deeply hurting. If you need anything, I’ll do what I can from here.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I’m going to be so bold as to make a suggestion, as I feel that I cannot leave it unsaid. What if you were to write a letter to Jeremy’s wife, sharing with her all that he meant to you, and what if you wrote a letter to his son via his mother, to be shared when she feels that it is appropriate for him to read? I cannot remember where I read about someone doing this, but I do remember that the letters sent were treasured by both the mother and the son the rest of their lives. It may be that you cannot do this for some legal reason perhaps. I think, from the beautiful style of your writing and your sincere caring for this man and his family, if it is possible, it would be an amazing gift for you all.